#OneWord2020-Connect Staying Connected During COVID-19

How many times have you heard: "We are living in unprecedented times"? I know I have heard that phrase too many times to count.

We are all just trying to figure things out.

How are we going to deliver schoolwork?

How are we going to ensure students stay on track?

How are we going to grade?

How do we do this work-at-home thing? (As I write this my own 3 children are causing so much noise that I may have to build me a she-shed in the backyard....I mean you can only turn the airpods up so loud).

There are more unknowns than known (every time I write or speak that phrase the song from Frozen 2 plays through my mind and in case you haven't heard it click here).

Yet we have to continue forging forward through each minute, each hour, each day.

While there is so much that is unknown this I do know: People come first. This means that my number one focus right now is making sure teachers, families and students are okay.

I am so thankful that I came across Allyson Apsey's (@AllysonApsey) blog: COVID-19 Edition of the Monday Morning Staff Check-in.

I completely agree with her thoughts here:
Leading through unmarked territory is surreal at times. Focusing on what the people around me need means that I cannot give into my emotions, yet I need to show empathy and feel with our teachers and students. It is a tricky balance, I am not going to lie. It is exhausting, but it is exactly what I signed up for when I became a principal and I am so proud to do this job. 


This has been my focus more than anything else. From nightly staff check-ins, to text messages, emails, and phone calls, staying connected to them and keeping them connected to each other has been my goal. So glad that I chose 'connected' to be my #OneWord2020 (check out my blog about choosing my OneWord).

I followed Allyson's lead and created my own Monday Morning Staff Check-In. I love sending it out on Monday morning and reading each response. Most of them share they are doing well, some are stir crazy and some want to be included in a project.


Allyson also shares a form she created to send out to families. So with the help of my assistant principal and interpreter we created our own Alto Park Family Friday Check-in. I have sent it out the past two Fridays. It has been an awesome way to reach out to our families. Right now only about 10% are responding but it has opened the door for me to reach out to them and know how they are doing. This past week I was able to connect with a mom who has recently lost 3 family members (not related to COVID). Just to be able to let her know that we were thinking about her and are here for her and her children meant so much to me.

Yes. There are still more questions than there are answers. But one thing I do know: We have to stay connected.

P.S. If you would like to create your own check-in form you are welcome to click the links and make a copy of mine.

On This Day: 1 Year Ago

I know we are all struggling with this unprecedented situation we find ourselves in. And there are so many questions and unknowns right now. But before you know it we will be past this and it will be

this time next year

Those of us on Facebook will begin to get those notifications: "On this day 1 year ago..." 

I don't always look at those posts unless they pop up in my feed or someone tags me in one. When I see them my reactions vary based on what shows up. Pictures of my kids (who are now grown) as little ones bring a rush of happy memories. Pictures of vacations taken, loved ones lost, new friendships and connections formed all captured in posts titled, "On this day: ___ year(s) ago.


Have you ever taken the time to think that the present time is determining what will be in those memory posts?

With that in mind, focus on this:

You are determining right now what will show up in your memory feed 
"On this day: 1 Year Ago." 

Will it be anxiety inducing posts?

Will it be funny memes about toilet paper or being stuck in your house with your family?

Will it be encouraging posts that you shared to help brighten the days for others?

Will it be mindfulness pictures and posts that help others stop and appreciate the beauty of our world that we so often miss in the rush of every day life? (I am thankful to my #4OCFPLN voxer group for sharing their mindfulness pictures everyday).

You are writing the stories now that will be memories this time next year.

I am looking forward to seeing the memory notifications of the times...

...I have spent with my family watching movies, walking around the neighborhood, playing badminton and putting a puzzle together.

...I have spent drawing closer to my Alto Park family. Seriously, y'all we have had some good times on...

...Zoom playing trivia,

...parading in our individual cars to honk, yell and wave at our students,

...fun Flipgrid challenges.

We are closer as a staff than ever before. #APSoars

I think now more than ever I am more aware that what we are doing is going to impact us long into the future. Maybe it is because so many demands have been lifted. Maybe it is because our normal routines have been disrupted. Whatever the reason, let's embrace it and be purposeful in what we do.

Because in no time at all we will see the decisions we make today become the memories of yesterday. 

What Would it Be Like

You know as well as I do that this world could use a lot more compassion. My good friend and mentor, @MarkWilsonGA,  helped me see that...

compassion is defined as empathy + action.

The more of this life I am privileged to walk and the more people I am honored to connect to, the more real this becomes to me.

I was recently watching a sermon by Kyle Idleman (@kyleidleman). He is the Senior Pastor of Southeast Christian church in Kentucky. He shared the following story:

He was preaching at his first church. It was a small church with only about 50 members. There was a little boy named Alan. He came to church every Sunday by himself. He lived just down the road from the church. This little boy was out of control. He was a mess. He would run around during the service hitting people. On one particular Sunday he was running around in the lobby. There were glass doors between the lobby and the sanctuary. Alan stopped running. Then in the middle of the sermon he threw a matchbox toy car. Glass shattered. Kyle marched Alan to his house with the intent of talking to his mom and dad and letting them know that Alan was not going to be able to come to church without them.

When he got to Alan's house he stopped. It wasn't really a house at all. It was a run-down, single wide trailer. No more than 500 square feet. Alan's mom stepped out and said, "What did that blankety, blank do now?" She grabbed him by the arm and marched him into the house, cussing the whole time. She started talking about how hard her life was because of "this kid."

Kyle looked around. He saw a couch with a stained pillow and blanket and knew this was where Alan must sleep. There was no dad in his life. 

Suddenly Kyle was overwhelmed by this, What would it be like to be Alan? moment. At that moment everything he thought about "this kid" changed for Kyle. He felt nothing but love for him. He was not angry anymore. 

Compassion becomes the most overwhelming feeling when we take the time to think, 

What would it be like...?

Kyle said, "I actually took the time on accident to understand a little bit of what life is like for him."

Think about that for a moment.

When was the last time you walked by someone and could tell they were in pain, but were too busy to stop and hear their story.

When was the last time you saw how someone behaved and made a judgment about their actions.

When was the last time someone shared gossip with you about another person and rather than find out the truth you instantly believed them.

When was the last time....today? this morning? yesterday? last week? right before reading this blog?

It's okay. We all do it. There are so many times I have done just that. I decided in my mind why someone made a choice or behaved in a particular way. But you know what, most of the time I am wrong. And the moment I find out the real story, I am overcome with grief and regret. It is literally like a punch in the gut. This has happened to me enough times that I am learning to stop, take my eyes off myself and think, "What would it be like" before I make a judgment.

I reached out to my Twitter PLN for some responses to
What would it be like...

• to be raised by a single mom who is so broken that she struggles to meet the emotional needs of her children? 
• if we focused on supporting kids (and each other) instead of seeking out punishments? Elizabeth Merce (@EMercedLearning)
• to know you have so many people who unconditionally care about you and your well-being that you felt it? Dustin Pearson (@DustinPearson2)
• if you had down syndrome or any diagnosis and realized your teachers and peers see you as different and already have a mindset that you can't do what others do so they don't even try to teach you or play with you? Melisa Hayes (@hayes_melisa)
• to go to school or work each day and know your teacher or boss can't stand you? Erin Kiger (@EBGtech)
• for people to always think you aren't capable? Don Sturm (@SturmDon)
• to live in a world where everyone could feel true joy and find their fullest potential? Stephanie Brown (@brownfamoffive)
• to be scared to walk around school everyday because you are bullied? Bonnie Nieves (@biologygoddess)

Kyle shared that he took the time "on accident" to find out what life was like for Alan.

What would happen if we took time on purpose to find out what life is like for others? 

Kyle says, "Take your eyes off yourself. Stop for a moment. Don't worry about what they believe. Don't worry about their politics. Don't worry that they're different."

Dear Educator...your students and parents need you to do this.
Dear Administrator...your teachers need you to do this.

The world needs us all to do this...now more than ever.

Imagine the ripple effect that would come if we each purpose to do this more often.

Remember: EMPATHY + ACTION = COMPASSION

So, stop before you act or react...
And think...

WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE? 

One Step. One Day.

What goal do you want to set? It’s January. You know, the month of New Year’s Resolutions. 

More people set goals to join the gym, start a diet, drink more water, get out of debt, commit to ______ (fill in the blank), than at any other time of the year. 

I mean, have you been to Walmart lately? The diet and exercise stuff are always put front and center this time of year. 

Have you watched commercials lately? It is one commercial after another advertising deals for weight loss, gym memberships, and even shopping (a commercial just came on for Haverty's: Is your New Year's Resolution to eat together as a family more often? Then you have to buy our new dining room table).  Insert eye roll here. 

So how many people keep the goals (aka New Year's Resolutions) they set on January 1? 

The odds are not usually in their favor. I mean, I haven't dug into the research, but I do have a pretty good window into the habits (or lack thereof) of human beings.

Why is that? Why do so many people set a goal on January 1 and then not too long after slip back into their old habits? 

Newsflash: Bad habits are hard to break. Good habits are hard to start.

When most of us set goals we think of doing it all year or all month or for a whole week. That is the quickest way to set yourself up for failure. 

Can I suggest a small shift in your thinking? 

Set your goal and then...

How about you just do it for one day? 

And then another day. 

And then another day. 

I started running when I turned 30. That was 14 years ago. August 2005. I couldn’t run from one mailbox to the next without stopping to catch my breath. Then in November 2016 I ran my first marathon. 

Do you think in August 2005 I was thinking about running a marathon? EVER? No way!

I went on to run another marathon in November 2017 and my third in November 2018. 

Then on August 21, 2018 I went for a regular run. But that day I decided to see how many days I could run in a row. It's called a #runstreak. I had become connected with Sarah Johnson (@SarahSajohnson) and a few others who had started their own #runstreak. So, I set the goal. 

And then I ran. I ran on August 21. I ran again on August 22. You get the picture. 

Today is January 3, 2020. And you guessed it, I went for a run. 

Do you think on August 21, 2018 I was thinking that I was still going to be running on January 3, 2020? No. 

It was one step, one day. Today was day 500 of my #runstreak. 

And, you know what? I learned that it is about so much more than running. It is about setting a goal. It is about taking the first step and then the second. It is about the first day and then the second day. 

One. Day. At. A. Time. 

Setting and achieving that one goal has allowed me to set and achieve so many other goals because I now know how to better set myself up for success. 

If I can do it, you can too. It doesn't take superhuman strength. It doesn't take some special ability. 

It just takes ONE. 

#OneWord2020-Connect

As I sit at my desk in the pre-dawn moments of the very first day of the new year and the new decade I ponder the past, the present and the future. That's what new years are for, right?

A blank page
A new start
365 days of wonder all wrapped neatly into 12 months

Two years ago I stopped setting New Year's Resolutions (I mean the only one I can remember setting and keeping for an extended period of time was to recycle) and started choosing a word, just one word that would carry me through the year and be my intentional focus.

I have been amazed at how each year I don't have to search a list or ask people or research at all what my #OneWord will be. Each year, since 2018, my word has found me.

My #OneWord2018 was RESOLVE. I was doing a Bible study on the book of Daniel and these words jumped off the page:

BUT DANIEL RESOLVED

I knew in that moment that my word for the year was going to be RESOLVE. In 2018 I needed to be steadfast in the decisions I made, the work I did and the battles I fought. I needed to resolve to be strong no matter what. 

My #OneWord2019 was PRESENT. And as with RESOLVE, it found me. I was at a time in my life (in the middle of my first full year as a principal) when I needed to focus on being present. When that word chose me, there was a time of grief at all the moments I had missed because I was not present. I was either too busy ruminating about mistakes in the past, too concerned with the to-do list of the present or too worried about what the future held. Even when in the moment of a conversation with a friend or family member I would find myself pondering what I was going to say and not give them the gift of my full attention. Do you know how much you miss when you are not present in each moment? 

After having a full year with the word RESOLVE and not focusing on it as much as I should, I knew I needed to do a better job with PRESENT. So I put screensavers on my phone and my Apple watch to remind me. I created a Pinterest board with all kinds of quotes on being present. A good friend and colleague surprised me with this amazing bracelet and I wore it almost every single day to be that constant reminder: "Suzie, be present in THIS moment."

As 2019 came to a close I was surprised at how easily my #OneWord2020 came to me; it basically landed in my lap. 

CONNECT

This word came to be me not only through books I was reading but in just doing every day life, in being observant, in watching how others connect or don't connect.

I just finished reading #KidsTheseDays by @JodyCarrington. She says so much about connection and the dangerous repercussions we are facing due to the tidal wave of disconnection.

"We are wired for connection." 

Dr. Jody Carrington

Feelings of isolation, loneliness, and a complete disconnection from others is causing so many problems in our society today. It's not the guns. It's not even the technology. It's not the busyness. It's the disconnection. Connecting can and will heal so much. Connecting can and will change the path others are on, like one raindrop falling into another one. The two become one and the path they travel becomes so different than their original path.

This will be my focus 2020. I want to purposefully connect or reconnect with people. I want to be purposeful to help others connect or reconnect.

I hope you will join me on my journey. I hope to document my growth through blogs and tweets. This will help hold me accountable.

One final word: I am so thankful for the connections I have made this year through Twitter and Voxer. Being a part of #4OCFPLN has completely changed the trajectory of my journey.

Connect.
Reconnect.
Let's go!

Overwhelmed, Tired, and Anxious

I don't know about you, but I have been hearing (and saying) these words a lot lately. It goes like this, you pass a colleague in the hall and ask: "How are you doing?"

Sometimes we are honest when someone asks us that question, but more often than not we say:

"I am okay."

"I am fine."

"I am good."

Sometimes we really are "Okay, Fine, and Good." But sometimes we are not. And it is what we do when we are, "Not okay, not fine, and not good," that determines the ultimate impact on our lives and the lives of those closest to us. 

First, the way we feel is real. Did you catch that? Feelings are real. Emotions are a part of who we are. 

The word "emotion" is the Latin word "emovere" and it means, "to move."

So, reflect for just a moment on where your emotions are moving you? Are they moving you in a positive direction or a negative one?

Whether you are a follower of Jesus or not, He left us a great example of what to do when we are not feeling "Okay. Fine. Good."

In Matthew 26 we read of the account of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. He tells His disciples exactly how He is feeling; "My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."

I am going to stop right there because what I really want to communicate is that Jesus reached out to His closest friends. He told them how he felt.

The lesson for all of us? I know so many are feeling overwhelmed, tired, and anxious right now. Allow those emotions to drive you in the direction of reaching out to your closest friends. Reach out to someone.

On another note...I think we all could do a better job of noticing when those closest to us are overwhelmed, tired and anxious. Reach out to them even if they are not reaching out to you. A hug, a smile, a card all go a long way. 

Present- My #OneWord2019

Has it really been an entire year since I last pondered what my #OneWord2018 would be? I remember this time last year searching for my #OneWord2018 by being aware and open to anything and everything around me. I am a voracious reader as anyone who knows me is well aware of so as I read I intentionally sought out what God would have me focus on. At the time I was reading through the book of Daniel and I stumbled across the following verse:

But Daniel resolved...

That was it. I had found my #OneWord2018. How did I do on resolving? On a scale of 1 to 10 I would have to give myself a 6. Why a 6? Well, I didn't intentionally focus on resolving each and every day. I didn't set goals for what I resolved to do. This year will be different. I am spending more time reflecting and setting goals as I go into 2019. I purpose to make things happen instead of letting things happen. 

Here we are just hours away from a brand new year and I find myself going through the same process to find my #OneWord2019. Again I went through the same process by opening myself up to anything and everything around me. Once again it was in reading that I came across a pattern of phrases that brought me to my #OneWord2019. 

I read a blog by @MarkWilsonGA entitled 10 Questions for Mid-Year Leadership Reflection . One phrase fired across my synapses: 

"Keep your mind where your feet are." 

I have also been reading and digesting #ReclaimingOurCalling by Brad Gustafson (@GustafsonBrad). In his chapter entitled Autopilot he lists 6 strategies for getting our brains out of autopilot. Number 6: Be Fully Present coincided with what I read in @MarkWilsonGa blog. 

I began to think that maybe I had found my #OneWord2019, but I wanted to make sure. So, I spent the next several days testing my ability to be present in each moment and what I discovered was astonishing. 

Being fully present is really difficult. 

Whether I am in the car, doing laundry, cleaning house, watching TV, or my favorite thing to do, running, I found that being fully present took a lot of intentional focus and energy. My mind really struggles to be in the moment. 

But as this shirt I stumbled on at Old Navy, it is truly Mind Over Matter. I can learn to be #present in each and every moment. 

Brad says, "No matter the size of the moment, it's important to be in it. Be fully present. Make it a habit to be mindful of where you are and whom you're with." (Reclaiming Our Calling). 

That's it. My word. PRESENT. Here's to a fabulous 2019.